A priest of 33 years
(a repost with some revision)
Today -- I celebrate 33 years as an ordained Episcopal priest. Reflecting on one's experience in ministry can be a risky endeavor.
My life as a priest has been unique. I'm sure almost any minister could say that! My unique experience begins with the fact that I am disabled. I have been disabled from birth. I have used an electric wheelchair since they were made available (yes, I've been around for a while!)
There were no role models for me as I prepared to be a priest. I had never seen a minister conduct a service from a wheelchair or received any pastoral care from someone who was disabled, that I was aware of. Looking back, I recognize ‘me’ –the person always ready to try something new. No one told me I couldn't be ordained, so my job was to listen to the Holy Spirit, envision what was possible, and, with confidence, help others do the same.
I planned my ordination for May 8th to correlate with the feast day for Dame Julian of Norwich. Julian was a holy woman - devoted and faith-filled. She lived in the Middle Ages during a time of plagues and war. While struggling with a life-threatening illness, she experienced a compelling and personal encounter with God. She survived the illness and personally knew the gift of health and life. When recovered, Julian vowed to live a mystic's life, sharing this gift with others.
Most of her adult life was spent in a small room connected to St. Julian's Church in Norwich, England. Like an anchor to a boat, Julian ‘anchored’ herself to this church. Through a small window from this room, she met and counseled people who came to her, offering comfort and holy wisdom to the village of Norwich and beyond. Within one room, she counseled those in need, spent hours in prayer, and put into words her insights about God's love and mercy. These writings would come to be known as “Showings - The Revelations of Dame Julian of Norwich”. It is believed that she was the first woman to have her writings published in English.
I planned my ordination for May 8th. I have always been curious about the connection between my ordination and Julian's feast day. Being a woman and a person with a disability, my life as a priest would present unexpected challenges for me and others. As time has passed, I know my ministry has been filled with courage and grace. Courage – not shy because of my disability - I have entered doorways into churches and homes that had previously not been opened either to women or people with disabilities. Grace- all has been possible through a vision beyond my own.
Anchored in her one-room home, Julian of Norwich shared her wisdom and faith with confidence and compassion. Her story has been an encouragement and inspiration. I know something about being held in one place– anchored. From my wheelchair, I have been present to people in their joy and sorrow, prayerfully spreading God's good news.
Thirty-three years feels like more than a minute! What have I learned? I have learned there are many more questions than answers and much of our time is spent learning how to live with the questions. I have learned that while we live in a world wrought with anxiety, people long for the presence of peace – not a lot of words, but peace. I have learned that miracles do not always manifest as we might have envisioned, but miracles remain.
And I have learned the importance of gratitude.
Most importantly, I reflect each day on the wisest words ever shared by Dame Julian.
“All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”
Congratulations on your years in ministry! I enjoyed and appreciated your sharing of your story. There's so much more, of course. But I like what you chose to share about disability, gratitude, and miracles. And I'm glad (if sad) to hear of the global yearning for peace, when all too many know is anxiety. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sure you have been and continue to be a blessing to many. May God continue to bless you beyond anything you could hope for.