to remember...
Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones.
When orchids brighten the earth,
Darkest winter has turned to spring;
May this dark grief flower with hope
In every heart that loves you.
May you continue to inspire us:
To enter each day with a generous heart.
To serve the call of courage and love
Until we see your beautiful face again
In that land where there is no more separation,
Where all tears will be wiped from our mind,
And where we will never lose you again.
It is Monday. As I count the Mondays, there have been 4 since he died. I wake to this new Monday and realize the sting of loss has not lessened. His absence feels like a hole that cannot be filled.
I grieve the loss of Eric.
As a priest and a chaplain, I have witnessed death. I know that goodbyes are not easy.
This is a death unimaginable.
I share below what I wrote as I heard the news.
In an Instant
In an instant, the world has changed.
Eric is like a brother. Eyes that shone with curiosity and compassion, he was easy to welcome as part of my family. His wife, Michelle, is like a sister. And all of their children -- so kind and open.
There is nothing to say, and there is everything to say! He was only 53. He had a life ahead, full of possibilities.
A life taken in one beat of a heart.
Running was something he did often.
Today, he ran on the shore of blue waters. Was it as the sun rose to begin a new day?
I wonder – as his foot stumbled, did he even know what was to come? I pray he wasn't scared. I pray that slumber came over him quickly and that he rose, like that sun, to see all the love and care offered him in that last hour and ever since.
How did I end up here again?
It is a moment so familiar and yet brand new. I am surrounded by friends—friends who are like family. Our pain and sadness are mutual and yet so unique.
I know what it's like to suddenly say goodbye to someone who was always going to be with me.
Deep down, I send my knowing spirit and compassion to Michelle.
In an instant, we face this loss, but it will be felt for a lifetime.
Days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months. I know from experience that as time passes, the edges of this grief may begin to soften. For now, however, these edges are sharp and painful.
We stand together. Guarding the bereaved with strength and compassion, we thank the sun for rising and setting in God's time. The days will move forward, and we will follow, allowing time to heal in its way.
John O'Donohue — Excerpt from 'On the Death of the Beloved,' from his books Benedictus (Europe) / To Bless the Space Between Us (US)