Once the door is opened

 

Admit that once you have got up
from your chair and opened the door,
once you have walked out into the clear air
toward that edge and taken the path up high
beyond the ordinary you have become
the privileged and the pilgrim,
the one who will tell the story
and the one, coming back
from the mountain
who helped to make it.

 


Doors — They begin an adventure. They end a long day.

Doors — They stand open to call us toward a time of growth. They slowly close to create a space for quiet when it’s time to gather and reflect.

Today, I sit at a door. Today, I welcome a new year… My 65th. It is a day to pause. I never imagined what it would be like to reach this birthday. As a person with a disability, it is a challenge to plan for the future because so many things can come up along the way. Yet, here I am at 65 – healthy, able to pursue my interests, and still full of curiosity.

There have been adventures leading to this birthday and there will be adventures following this birthday. I greet each like a new door, calling me to trust as I move over its threshold.

I celebrate this day with gratitude and look ahead with anticipation.


From Mameen in David Whyte: Essentials
Many Rivers Press © David Whyte

…the thing you actually find.

Never be so focused on what you’re looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.

 

October 1! I looked at the calendar with some sense of awe…in 30 days I will celebrate a birthday -my 65th birthday. 

Sitting at this threshold I look at where I’ve been and where I am going.

And today, I am 27 days away. I still look at the calendar – so intently, I can’t help but wonder, is this fascination a preparation? Preparation for another milestone? Every 10 years, every five years -I’ve always loved celebrating birthdays and I know that some are much more significant than others.

Sitting in front of this threshold, I look at where I’ve been and where I am going. Counting down the days to a birthday that marks the end of something and the beginning of something.

There is a lot to think about. 65 used to be the age when one would retire. A tradition established by Congress. I Googled it!

“The original Social Security Act of 1935 set the minimum age for receiving full retirement benefits at 65. Congress cited improvements in the health of older people and increases in average life expectancy as primary reasons for increasing the normal retirement age.”

But 65 is not the magic age anymore. I won’t be considered eligible for retirement until I am 66 and six months. This makes things complicated because I retired on disability over 10 years ago. So I am eligible for some things and not for others. The details are boring and yet so important as they affect life in ways unimaginable! More about that in the days to come.

During this countdown, there is much to think about – to continue thinking about. But for today I will sit at this door’s threshold. I will take time to consider what it looks like closed and what it looks like open. I will lay options before me and practice the words offered by Julian of Norwich: believing that all will be well.

 


Quote: Ann Patchett

Image: Pinterest

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